need another drink. this is the easiest way
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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