I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
