So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i came on her dog
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
