is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
