he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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