remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
