Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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