Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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