I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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