Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
