ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
