This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
