rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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