he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
