Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
