you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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