I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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