It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
