I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
