I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Randomize
