Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
