her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
