He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
