The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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