One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
