No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
