My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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