I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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