I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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