Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
