Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
