I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
