there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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