Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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