Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
