how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
