You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
