note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
