I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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