never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
