sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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