I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
