Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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