Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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