my vag is so smooth its legendary
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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