I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
