lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
