i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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