Can Purell be used as lube?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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