My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
