I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
