He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
