Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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