Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
