Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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