Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize