how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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