It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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