The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
