What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
