Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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