I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
a search helicopter?!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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