so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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