I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
