if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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