lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
being pregnant is like rehab
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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