3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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